An ill-favoured thing sir, but mine own!: Drona - The Worst 90 rupees ever spent

Drona Review - Chapter 1 - The Excitement

OK this is one of those impromptu posts that I just have to write no matter where I am.

Right now It's 6:32pm and I am sitting in the lobby of Mangala Multiplex (Well I don't know whether it is technically a multiplex or not, but sure they have multiple screens and a tiny cup of coffee costs 15 rupees, so I think it can pass for a multiplex.)

Probably from the title of this post you have guessed that I have come to watch Drona. But it is nothing like a first day of a movie. The lobby is almost empty and nobody (I was hoping for a cute girl) is looking at me curiously as I furiously scribble this. I don't know why there are so few people. Probably because they are running like a dozen shows of the same movie and 7 o'clock (and I guess Mangala Theater too) is not hip for college students and IT people to come for a movie.

Whatever, I love sitting in the lobbies of these multiplexes. The cool AC air, the posh snacks counter, (sometimes a face to die for) & of course the cutouts and posters of forthcoming movies.

Right now I am staring shamelessly at the hot poster of Madhur Bhandarkar's next: Fashion. The poster is showing Priyanka Chopra, Mugdha Godase and Kangna Ranaut - all candid about their long legs. Now had I been a conservative, moral bound man, I would have shook my head and said, "This country is loosing all it's culture!" But I am not, so I totally enjoy the scene.

Now at 6:43pm, screen4 is having intermission and quite a few people have come out to the snacks counter & I smell the awesome smell of coffee which I can't buy for fear of feeling guilty of wasting 15 rupees on such a small cup of coffee. Besides there will be the guilty feeling of excess eating since I just had a large cookie and tea before coming here. So I will just turn my head elsewhere.

Ah! 90 rupees vasool! There is that cute face to die for. So I fulfill my obligatory quota of vitamin-I. And since now I have accomplished one objective to come to the movie, I should get inside the theater and watch the actual movie.

[Note: This first chapter was written on 2nd of October while I was sitting in the lobby of Mangala Theater]

Drona Review - Chapter 2 - The Disappointment

Well what to say? Drona turned out to be total disappointment. There are so many things going wrong that it is hard to think of positives.

First a bit about the story. Drona is story of a dynasty who is entrusted with the security of the nectar (amrut) that the Gods obtained at the time of samurda-manthan. Since by drinking this nectar one can live forever, a lot of ‘asurs’ have been trying to obtain the nector and for the centuries the dynasty is protecting the nector from these ‘asurs’. Every prince from this dynasty gains some special powers and weapons when he takes up the task to protect the ‘dron’ of the nectar. And since he is guarding the ‘dron’ he is called ‘drona’. So in our age the Drona is Aditya (Abhishek Bachchan) who is trying to protect the drona from Riz Raizaada (KK), an evil magician. So the movie is series of mysteries those must be solved to reach the nectar.

Basic plot of the movie is OK and has all the elements of the classic fantasy. Where it lacks is execution. First impression you get is that Goldie Behl (the director) is trying too hard to impress. He wants to create all these big special effects that we get to see in big Hollywood movies like the Mummy. But all I wanted to ask him, please just take a look at your budget and their budget. How can you hope to match that quality? In the end these special effects end up looking amateurish. (Especially the big ones. The smaller special effects are done quite OK, for example the blue rose petal that comes flying to Aditya whenever he is sad.)

Another problem is in these special effects and trying to impress with every movement of the character the director forgets that he needs to tell us a compelling story. We don’t feel the characters emotions. All of them are just caricatures with lackluster dialogs.

Also the movie has big hangover of Hollywood. The start of the movie is very Harry Potterish. (Young orphan staying with horrible aunt). The evil minions of Riz Raizaada are shown like the kings with hollow black faces who served Sauron in Lord of the Rings.

Another disappointing part the movie is action sequences and most importantly Priyanka Chopra. Priyanka Chopra disappoints big time. I don’t know who to blame? The stunts director is either seriously incompetent or had to compensate for lack of physical ability of Priyanaka. I think it was more of later. Why oh why, can’t we have superb action heroines like Anjelina Jolie, Kate Beckinsale, Jennifer Garner and countless others.