In Pursuit of Happiness: What I want from Life

Image Credit: Zen
What is art? Well art is many things to many people. That’s the essence of a piece of art. Art is open to interpretation of the person experiencing the art. What a person will experience from a piece of art will depend upon that particular person, his unique personality, the experiences he has had before in his life.

Ho ho, now isn’t that vague and uncertain. I being a programmer don’t really deal well with uncertainties. What I have to do is to find a common most occurring situation and then create a solution for that particular situation and then handle the exceptional occurrences to complete the solution. So for my little purpose of living this life I have accepted the following definition of art,

“Art is something which at the basic level satisfies physical and emotional senses but which also stimulates the intellectual thought.”

Ok if you are scratching your head about why I am propounding on the definition art in a post titled, ‘In Pursuit of Happiness: What I want from Life’ then your doubts aren’t entirely misplaced. And if your mental state is like- "bhais ki aakh" saala kuch bhi likhta – I won’t really blame you. [And no this post isn’t a retort at the people who miserably failed to understand my work of art. ;-) ]

The reason is because I have just read “The Hungry Tide” (Good Book, a review post is in the making. For me a real work of art.) by Amitav Ghosh. In the novel Amitav Ghosh has showed a lot of different characters who have different expectations, hopes and ambitions in life.

There is Piya who is a scientist. She is ready to devote prime 10-15 years of her life to do research on some rare species of dolphins found in the rivers of Sunderbans, even when she doesn’t know what will be the ultimate practical benefit of this research. She is ready to live the harsh solitary life in the jungles of Sundarban where there is good chance that she may become food of some tiger or crocodile.

There is Kanai a successful businessman in the translation services. He knows six languages. His ambition is more success, more luxury and more women.

There is Nirmal and Nilima. The idealist couple trying to help the poor people of Sundarbans. They among other things also run a trust hospital for the people if Sunderbans.

There is Moyna, Fokir’s (described below) wife, who despite of being a fisherman’s wife and her rural background is determined to get more education and become a nurse. She wants a better life for her family.

There is Kusum, Fokir’s mother. She has endured unthinkable grief and hardships, yet she is zestful and determined to live a full life.

And then there is Fokir. What Fokir wants? You don’t know. What he does? He is a fisherman by tread, who spends a lot of time on river in the vicinity of nature singing songs. Why he sacrifices his life for Piya? You don’t know. Is he in love with Piya. You don’t know for sure but it seems so.

Of all the above characters, Fokir puzzles me the most. There is a big unanswered WHY about him. In a novel (and in real life too) you can understand people by their ambition. Understand a person’s ambition and you will have him figured out. You can guess in advance how he will behave in a certain situation if you understand his ambition and his moral framework (though quite a few times the moral framework is conditioned by the ambition).

Fokir is a kind of person who knows how just to be. There is no why about his existence, there is just being and being content about it. The kind of man the traditional Hindu religion instructs us to be. The concept of ‘nirvana’. End of want, the complete bliss, the eternal happiness.

You: Ae, bakwas band kar, direct bol tera point kya hai?

The point is: the WHY of Pritam? If you know me for more than 2 days, you will understand that I am all about ambition. In many ways I am a lot like Kanai. (Except for more women part. Though it may be the natural man situation, I understand the meaning and importance of THE woman and I am searching for her.)

So if I am about ambition, what is the ambition? Happiness for me and my people. Ambitions means want and want negates the possibility of nirvana, the eternal happiness. So what’s the problem? Why am I running behind some ambition when there is eternal happiness to be obtained? Well, it’s not the want or ambition which brings the grief. It’s the failure to achieve the ambition. But you fail only when you give up hope and stop running. If there is hope, the failure is only momentarily; you can always get up and start running.

It’s not really the happiness but the pursuit of happiness that keeps me running. It’s the pursuit of happiness that keeps me alive.

Life has Infinite Capability to Fuck You, Anytime, Anywhere.

Life has Infinite Capability to Fuck You, Anytime, Anywhere.
पर का करे भाई, और कोई ओप्सन है?

ज़िन्दगी दिखाती है सपने और हम देखते है।
मंसूबो की रेत में बस किले बानाते है।

और ये कम्बखत जिंदगी कुछ सपने सच भी कर देती है।
आशाओं के ऊँचे ऊँचे मनोरे उभार देती है।

And then Life does IT to you. And it hurts like hell!

क्यो मीनिंग की तलाश में हम दर दर है भटकते?
क्यो देखते है हम ये सपने जो इतना दर्द है देते?
पर का करे भाई, और कोई ओप्सन है?

Oops! I did it again…. I wrote another poem. What has happened to me? Why I have started acting weird? I mean all this 'getting an inspiration and writing a poem about it' kind of stuff. Weird! It has never happened to me before. Am I under some alien virus attack or something? Okay, jokes apart this poem is actually inspired by the movie ‘Barah Aana’. I just watched it a few hours ago. And Right after watching the movie while coming back home, the first two lines came to me. The first line ‘Life has Infinite Capability to Fuck You, Anytime, Anywhere.’ is one of my favorite lines. I recited it and somehow I could hear Vijay Raaz saying, “पर का करे भाई, और कोई ओप्सन है?”

So you must be wondering, if the movie is capable of inspiring a poem, then it must be a very good movie. Well it is certainly a very well made movie. Performances are really good. Direction is really nice. Whether you will like it or not? I can’t really tell. It’s the kind of a movie one has to watch and decide for himself (or herself, I am not a chauvinist it’s just how English is).

So what do you think about the poem?

Ye Jindagi Ek Premgeet Hai!

ये जिंदगी एक प्रेमगीत है ।
माना अब गा रहा इसे पंकज उधास है ।
कभी ये जगजीत सिंग की मीठी ग़ज़ल हुआ कराती थी ।
जब उनकी किलकिलाहट से हमारी सुबह हुआ कराती थी ।

हां अब बिरह की काली रात चल रही है ।
मन के सागर में यादों की सैलाब चल रही है ।
शायद ये तांडव प्रेमगीत नही हो सकता
पर मौसम हमेशां ही तो बरबाद नही रहता ।

ढल जायेंगे जुदाई के बादल
और आसुओं की बारिश भी रुक जायेगी ।
बस वो मुस्कुरादे एक बार, हरियाली फिर लौट आएगी।
जिंदगी फिर से एक प्रेमगीत बन जायेगी |


OK, so that was it! My first poem on this blog! And yes please ignore the grammar. I can't really write Hindi that well.

This poem started from one of my friend's Gmail status line which I thought was really sad. But more than sad it was pessimistic. Yes luck matters and some really shitty things happen to us, but sometimes how you look at it is more important then how it is.

I believe in hope. Yes I am a hopeless romantic.

From the Deep and the Dark of the Human Mind: Gulaal

Sometimes writing something is compulsory. And writing about Gulaal is something I have to do right now. Right now I am sitting in my office. I have just returned from E-Square where I watched ‘Gulaal’. It is 10.59 pm and tons of work is pending but I can’t think of anything but Gulaal. So work will have to wait till tomorrow.

Now about Gulaal. First,

Warning: If you didn’t like Delhi 6, the chances are that you will find Gulaal mind-numbingly boring.

Another Warning: Gulaal uses very rough, rowdy, derogatory and offensive language. So if you are a traditionally raised Indian woman, or a middle-class parent who behaves as if he never used, or heard people using, such language then you won’t even be able to watch the movie.

A good review demands that you should give a rundown of the story without actually killing the reader’s curiosity about the movie. And I really hate this part. So please read the summery of the story of Gulaal here on this review published on PassionForCinema.com

When somebody writes a story or makes a movie he has certain objectives which he wants the story to fulfil. Most of the commercial films have only one objective, to entertain the people. Why, because we essentially go to watch a movie to be entertained. So as consumer our expectations about the product exactly match with that of the producer. So when a director succeeds in making an entertaining film, we get a blockbuster. Hence we have these films called masala films which aim at creating a perfectly entertaining concoction.

Now there is nothing wrong in wanting to entertain people. That’s the reason why the movie industry is a part of the lager entertainment industry. But there is a big problem when we look at movies as products of art. This ‘art’ part royally fucks with the simple definition of a movie as a vehicle to entertain people. Generally it is said that when you are experiencing a work of art, there are five levels to describe this experience.

1. Unsatisfactory
2. OK
3. Satisfactory
4. Entertaining
5. Meaningful

Now since it’s art, the experience depends upon the person itself. But generally for average people, when the director tries to be meaningful, he has to cut down on entertainment part. (Aamir Khan is one filmmaker who understands how to maintain this balance and yet create a blockbuster.)

And I sincerely believe that from an average moviegoer’s point of view Anurag Kashyap has failed to maintain the entertainment-meaning balance.

But for those who are ready to venture into darker parts of human soul to understand people and world better, this movie is an absolute treat. And apart from that the movie has very good cinematography and dialog.

One problem why the movie fails to entertain/satisfy (depending upon how you look at it) is lack of a traditional plot. For example the movie doesn’t have any Hero. Dilip Kumar Singh is the protagonist of the story, he is certainly not a Hero. One basic rule that a every beginning writer is instructed to follow is to make the protagonist likable. Here Anurag Kashyap is the least bothered about making the protagonist likable. In fact for me the character of Dilip Kumar Singh is the least liked one. He is weak, spineless, and easily gullible and he doesn’t really have much of aptitude. I can not even pity him.

It is really hard to keep the audience interested in the story if you lack a plot, because the curiosity of ‘What happens next’? is something that keeps the audience firmly riveted to the story. And plot makes it easier to keep up this curiosity. If you don’t have a plot then what is currently happening on the screen has to be so engrossing that it shouldn't give the user a chance to think about what happens the next. Also this makes it harder for the director to create a continuous flow out of the story. Anurag Kashyap has coped with these challenges very well, still for around half an hour before the interval, I found myself asking, why am I really watching this? Is it really heading anywhere? But fortunately after the interval I was again firmly involved in the story.

But if you stopped to look at it as traditional story and just looked at it as a series of interconnected character studies, it is really engrossing. What I got from the movie is that people are all about their aspirations. All our actions are governed by what we want, consciously and unconsciously. Our aspirations create meaning in our lives. If we want to understand how a person will behave in a certain situation, we must be able to understand his/her real aspirations.

And one more thing some aspirations can force us to make dreadful choices. So be careful about what you want!

The One about Feeling Small, Insignificant and....

Well almost a month has passed since I have written the last post on this blog and yes it’s just the usual reason: too much work. (Read: Procrastination) But it’s not really true. Twice during last month I found myself having the time and subject matter to write about but I didn’t. Why? Because the inspiration behind both the posts was negative emotions. Anger, angst and rage. One was related to corruption and other about BJP playing ‘Ram Mandir Issue’ as its trump card for the next general elections. Why I avoided writing those posts is because criticism solves little. Most of the time thoughts generated from negative emotions aren’t practical solutions to the real problems.

Why today’s post? Well in a way this one also stems from another negative emotion. It is about feeling small. It is about feeling insignificant. It is about feeling helpless. But nevertheless I am going to write this one.

When we think of the universe and ourselves, we can’t help but think that we are insignificant. Think of it, how many things can go wrong and in a short time the world as we of it will cease to exist. Science Fictions writers make there living out of such stuff.

When we think about the problems that human beings from all around the planet are facing, what we find? Terrorism, religious divide, war, poverty, hunger, … the list is almost endless. And what I can do about it? Nothing. The problems seem so enormous that whatever solution I can think of falls short of the reality. If you take a look at the history, it is filled with policy decision of Governments gone wrong. Many of them taken in good faith, but gone wrong during the implementation.

There is a theory: In large scheme of things whatever you do doesn’t matter in the long run.

Consider the example of medical health care. Sure we have found out cures to many diseases which have resulted in longer longevity. But at the same time we have found out more efficient ways to kill thousands of people in matter of seconds.

We have achieved faster transport but the no. of accidents is ever increasing.

There is no less grief (physical & emotional) in the world than that was a 100 years ago or probably a 1000 years ago.

Doesn’t one feel almost helpless? Sometimes I think this inability to find solutions to problems beyond our control gives birth to philosophy like, ‘Tum kya karate ho? Jo karata hai wo Who karavata hai?’ – ‘What do you do? Whatever happens is because of the Gods will.’

You are a droplet in the sea. All you can do is to move with the weave.

Trying to bring the change is futile. Stop worrying (caring?). Instead enjoy your life to the fullest! The world can take care of itself.

Really convincing, isn’t it? Why because it makes evading the responsibility so much easier.

What can I do? I am just an insignificant speck of dirt in the tornado.

Image Credit : Saiuri

And…

Did you read the title of the post? It ends with and ‘and…’ So here is the ‘and…’ part,

And… Kaala Bandar!!!

What? From where did the ‘Kaala Bandar’ come from? Well it comes just like that, whenever the plot needs it.

Well if you don’t know Blogger has this nice feature, using which you can save your half-finished post as draft and then finish it later on. So yesterday night when I felt very tired after writing about that 'feeling insignificant bit of piece of shit', I did just that. I hit the ‘Save Now’ button and turned off the lights.

And today I found out that I could take out 3-4 hours to go to E-Square and watch ‘Delhi 6’. (Oh! Don’t ever believe that ‘I found out that I could take out…’ crap, in truth it was like my hands were shaking, I felt seriously ill and inadequate, I couldn’t concentrate and I had to go and watch a movie in a cinema theater. Yes I accept I am addicted!)

And boy! What a movie it is! Awesome, wonderful, terrific, great…. I am out of superlatives! Great cinematography, awesome music score and simply great direction. One rarely gets to see such a perfect use of symbolization in a Bollywood (or Hollywood for that matter) movie. At one side we have Lord Hanuman and at the other we have Kaala Bandar. Both represent two essential natures of the human beings and it's up to us what we choose to become. And the writer and director - Prasoon Joshi and Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra were spot on when they choose Delhi-6 to represent the India. With little bit of difference we have met/seen all these characters in our life.

Well I could go on and on about the movie the point is, the protagonist chooses to make a difference and yes he get horribly beaten up and gets shot for making the right choice. And I guess this fear of getting beaten up is what stops us from making the decisions which can alleviate (if not solve altogether) the problems we are facing today. But we never make those decisions. I know I haven’t taken any of those decisions! Being an insignificant speck is what we choose! One of the countless insignificant specks driven by the powerful wind of hatred forming the tornado which threatens to finish the ‘civilization’.

Image Credit : demordian

Image Credit : demordian

Image Credit : Tinneketin

God I Refuse to Die…

Here is a wonderful video from a young Indian artist ‘StringSick’. Just brilliant work! A must see. The lyrics are really beautiful. And the photo compilation is … Well I have no words to describing them. It’s sometimes unbelievable to see the realities of the world. The song touches your heart while the video rips it apart!

So I did IT…

OK this post has been due for like 5 days. Everyday I used to say like I will do it today. But work pressure is so much that it was really impossible. I am sleeping at 3-4 O’clock in the morning for last couple of days.

In that regard there is a news (Good or Bad I can’t really tell.) I have given 3 months notice to my current employer. So from May onwards I will be working only for my own firm. No more 2 jobs thing. I just can’t wait to see these three months finish.

And in all of the above, I forgot to tell you that this post is an update post to the New Year! New Resolution! Post. In that post I told you about this bet according to which I was required to loose 5 Kgs in one month. Well guys I am pleased to say that I have achieved that target. On the weighing day my weight was 78.81 which is 6.900 Kgs (That is almost 7Kgs!) less than the previous weight.

The original "contract" updated to show
new weight with signature and all.

New Slimmer (but not slim enough) Me.

As usual the credit of not so good photographs goes to...
Padmaja

[And OK the bold name right uder photograph seems to suggest the person in the photograph is Padmaja. But no she is not that ugly. She is a lot more.... What? I just left the statement incomplete. Fill in the blank. ]

And it was tough! The last 7 days were like hell. During these days I was obsessed over weight. Actually first 3 weeks went quite well and I had already managed to loose 4 kgs by 23rd Jan. But on 24th and 25th Jan I went to my home town Bhusawal and with all that “Maa ka pyaar and dular” I managed to put on something like a kilogram or so. And I was like... Oh no! I am going to loose this bet! But then I switched to strict liquid diet (and yes if you are wondering that involved quite a few trips to the loo.)

On 29th I was still 90 grams short of the target and I was majorly [Ya I know there is no such word as majorly. It’s just that Tushar keeps using the phrase – there was this cute chic in …. Majorly hot man! Majorly Hot!] pissed [No pun intended. And am I writing a bit too much in brackets? I love it, writing in brackets. In fact I think a cool name for this blog would be – Writing in the Brackets ;-) and yes if you have forgotten what the original sentence was: I was majorly pissed.] So in all my fury I cursed God [in whom I don’t believe] for being unfair to me and went on even harder diet and drank only a sip or two of water only when necessary [plus 1 or 2 glasses of buttermilk and 2-3 chai (with out sugar but with lots of Sugerfree – and that was a bracket within bracket – I am great)].

And then the weighing day came. 1 Feb 2009! I spent extra 10 minutes in the toilet to make sure I wasn't carrying any "dead weight". And I consumed only half a liter of water and 3 cups of tea in that day. I was feeling damn low on calories. I was getting irritated quite often. But it was a bet and I had to win. So I told myself to stay calm and not to do anything rash. I was waiting like mad for 6 O’clock in the evening. Then finally at 6 O’clock in the evening I called up Archana and told her that I was coming to pick her up. Poor girl was ill but I dragged her to Corn Club where I had weighed previously. And … You know the rest of the story….