I just walk down the road...

Yesterday was one those days you feel down and defeated. From somewhere the following lines came to me and felt very relevant. So just penned them down. But today is a do or die day. So I will just paste the poem(!!!) here:


I am walking on the road
with no destination in mind

Its might start raining soon
But it was that way since the noon

All I want to do is walk the road
Don't think about what the future may hold

I look at the fancy cars speeding by
and the beautiful girls walking by

I want to turn and look at her again
but what fruits may I gain?

I just walk down the road
with no destination in mind

There are lots of questions
but mostly whys and hows

I don't have any answers now
walking down the road seems the best option somehow

But they are still there, eating my mind
pulling me somewhere deep down

A granny walks down gives me one nice grin
all I can manage is the weak smile of mine

I just walk down the road
with no destination in mind

then he tugs me from behind begging for money
I fiddle around my pockets but haven't got any

I look down at him and say I am sorry
He smiles back, looks at the sky and says don't worry

I just walk down the road
with no destination in mind

I just walk down the road
and it starts raining

for once I don't mind,
getting drenched seems fine.

Twilight Series

Finished reading Twilight series and quite liked it. Though I like Harry Potter series more. I have always liked Vampire Stories and that's the reason UnderWorld I & III are two of my favorite movies. But Stephenie Meyer's take on vampire's is not much different from formula fiction. Basically a teen love story, so what if the characters happen to be Vampires and ShapeShifters (Jacob is not a werewolf!).

The area where Stephenie Meyer succeeds is the chemistry between the lead characters. I think for a romance story to succeed the chemistry between the lead characters is very important.

I won't put Twilight in my all time favorites but indeed I enjoyed it while it lasted.

Our obsession about miracles!

Just finished reading Dan Brown’s latest novel, The Lost Symbol. As expected Mr. Brown has produced an un-put-down-able thriller. The story has similar premise that of Angels & Demons and The Da Vinci Code. It depicts Robert Langdon’s yet another mystery filled adventure where he must solve riddles about mystical symbols to save the world from catastrophe. Classic International Thriller. Here also Dan Brown juxtaposes modern science and ancient faith to unveil some startling revelations. I have always loved Dan Brown’s novels for this element, his ability to draw parallels between religion and modern science to promote a more peaceful coexistence. Despite of having many flaws in terms of story telling which reviewers from prominent publications have pointed out here, here and here, for me the book succeeds because you don’t read a Dan Brown novel just for the thrill but you expect learn about quite a few interesting facts (or controversies) about history. Quite a few will claim that all of what he shows may not be true or shown in fair light with proper criticism, but everybody has opinions which vary from what actual fact is, some more than others. Anyways I am not here to review the book. I have since learned that my reviews are not really reviews but essentially my ramblings about the work. What I try to do is to share the thoughts and feelings that arise from experiencing the work art in question. Though in the defense of the book I would want to say that many reviewers miss the point of popular entertainment, no matter a novel, a song or a movie, is to entertain. The Last Symbol not only entertains but it succeeds in giving an important message of harmony between mass religion and modern science.

What I wish to discuss today is mankind’s obsession about miracles. A person must be able to perform some miracles then only he can be regarded as saint. The miracle dwarfs his hundreds of deeds of love and compassion. The bigger the miracles, more is the number of followers. This leads to hero worship and in the bigger manifestation to the phenomenon image worship. Here rather that turning to inner strength and self belief to overcome difficult situations, we pray to some God or Deity to solve our problems for us. Here religion looses its true meaning as a concept to empower an individual. It rather establishes the insignificance of an individual, a mortal toy in the hands of a much larger power. This is why I believe religion as more of a social device to keep masses in check rather than truly empowering them. But one can also argue that intellectual growth and empowerment has always been a personal journey for every individual where he/she must work diligently towards the goal.

I also have a strong opinion against rituals of any kind. Many argue that there is systematic science behind these rituals proposed by various religions. But how much effort is taken by these religious establishments to make sure that the followers understand true nature of these rituals and why must they be performed and how they help the individual in his personal/social empowerment. What is generally practiced is performing the ritual step by step as per given in some religious text and in case of older religions like Hinduism, many versions of these texts exist which can easily confuse the follower. In extreme form this word by word following of text leads to religious fanaticism.

Coming to the main objective of this post, why we are so obsessed with miracles is because it lets us common people believe that we are common, thus incapable of performing extraordinary feats. We, by definition of being common, can’t be performing what heroes, saints and the Gods can do.

It’s OK to be selfish, I am not a saint. It’s OK to produce mediocre work, I am a Hero. It’s OK not to try and fight against wrong, I am not an Avtaar (God). I am not saying I am an exception to this thought. I have found myself thinking along the same lines, just to rationalize the momentarily pleasure I want to have at that moment. [ I am talking about dieting! ;-) ]

Awed by these superhuman expectations we don’t even consider a possibility that we common people can produce miracles. Rather than looking for miraculous superhuman abilities even if we truly try to share whatever we have with love and compassion, the collective effort produced will be no less than a miracle!

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

‘Bakwas end!’ was my first reaction just after the last scene of the movie and I hadn’t even gotten out of the chair. I saw it today at a local film festival and I admit I wouldn’t have seen it completely had I been watching it on DVD. But since I was seating in National Films Archive of India (Pune) I watched it through. And the movie got better after first 45 minutes or so. Brilliant performances by all crew members! But I didn’t like the end. Yes it is one of those movies (like Forrest Gump) which grows to a new height with every minute you spend thinking about it.

The more I thought about it, the more I appreciated it, but still I don’t like the sad end. I just don’t understand why the writer had to end the story about a high spirited man who despite of having all the ‘human flaws’ rebelled against an institution for the sake of the patients had to end this way, when the writer was the God of the story. Despite of having his chance to run away, he chooses to stay to support his friends, to help them with the issues which primarily have arisen because of lack of self confidence and emotional turmoil rather than mental illness and What does he get in return, death!

OK one can argue that the escape of the chief and its celebration by other patients can be looked upon as the victory of what McMurphy stood up for. But then the Hero (yes the H is capital, the Hero within us is as important as the God, isn’t it?) died. Doesn’t this subconsciously kill the Hero within us? The story brings us face to face with the reality that if you try be a rebel who dares to go beyond the confines of the ‘civilization’, death or defeat might be one of the (most likely) ends. Yes those after you might enjoy the fruits but you might not be there to enjoy that. Look at that silly McMurphy, he didn’t think before acting, just went with his natural instinct to support the underdog and look what happened to him, he died! Are you willing to go against the ‘society’ now? Are you willing to make the ultimate sacrifice?

Well most of us know this already, consciously or subconsciously, which is why we just try to exist within the society despite of the million flaws in the system. We also know that if we try to fight the system, there are very high chances of failure. And this strengthens the problem of lack of self confidence and unwillingness to change the things around us. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that not all revolutions fail! Some succeed and at the end of the war there are chances that you will be there to enjoy the fruits of the change and even if the chances are little, they are worth trying for!

Abhi Ho Sakata Hai – It can happen right now!

Abhi Ho Sakata Hai – It can happen right now!
-Osho Rajinish

Ok this post was meant to be totally something else, but it is going to be something totally different. It was going to be about the lines, ‘Abhi Ho Sakata Hai’. I read these lines in Osho’s discourse on Ashtavakra Gita. No I haven’t read the whole discourse. It’s comprises some 7-8 volumes (I am not sure, this was some 5-6 years ago.) I was trying to read the third (again, I think) volume. I abandoned the book midway, partly because of my impenitence with teachings which claim to help you with your spiritual self but, more importantly, because I felt I already had gotten the message: Abhi Ho Sakata Hai – It can happen right now!

Thought the message is about attaining Superconsciousness, I have found the message to be very useful in the efforts of attaining my relatively materialistic goals. It is more about the power of believing in your ability and having the resolve: from now onwards the aim of my every activity will be to attain that goal.

(Though I didn’t complete Osho’s discourse on Ashtavakra Gita I did maange to read another of his discourse titled ‘From Sex to Superconsciousness’. See what a great title can achieve! But let me tell you, the message is not about Sex at all. It is about Superconsciousness. The way I interpreted it was like: OK so you cannot conquer your sexual urges, then don’t try to suppress them. That way the only thing you will be doing is thinking more and more about sex. If you want sex, do it and then concentrate fully on more important things in life.)

Though it is very easy to understand the message - It can happen right now! -, why I (and most of us) fail to realize our goals and ambitions? It is because though I have my goals at the same time I have desires which lead me to the path which is contradictory to the path I must take to achieve my goals. And every time the desires win I fail to attain one of my goals. I understand perfectly well why I fell, yet I don’t succeed. Because to succeed one must not only understand but also act according to the understanding. Manage that and yes, It can happen right now!

But you said, “Ok this post was meant to be totally something else, but it is going to be something tonally different.” As long as I can see, the post is about what its title suggests.

Yes till this point the post was about what it was supposed to be. From this point forward it is different. (See sometimes the conflict between aim and desire can produce something worthwhile. That’s why life is so interesting.)

Just before writing this article, I was reading a post on Ram Gopal Varma’s blog. In this entry RGV tells us about Satyendra, one of his friends in collage who was a genius in philosophy. But RGV describes their last encounter as,


Years later when I was shooting for a film in his town, I tried to trace him as I came to know he left his home a few years earlier. I found him in a windowless room filled with all kinds of books. His eyes were filled with boredom which made me realize that he got saturated with knowledge and intelligence, and as a result there was no more excitement in his life


And while researching for this post I found the wikipedia entry on Osho. Till date I have known Osho only through his discourses on various topics. The breadth of his knowledge is awe-inspiring. And his message is clear and to the point. But after reading about the controversial parts of his life, I was astounded by the things which (he purports) were done by his supporters without his knowledge but by using his wealth and power.

I read about two great men in short span of an hour. First Satyendra who despite of his intelligence and knowledge failed to put it to any practical use in life. I agree, may be I am being a bit too harsh on Satyendra in my judgement. Actually it is totally wrong when one person declares other person unsuccessful. But for practical purposes of life one must assess and one must judge. And for me, knowledge gained but not used is waste of time. (I agree that in larger philosophical sense the previous statement is shallow. But I observe that this particular attitude has helped to solve many practical problems.)

And then there is Osho, who despite of being a sea of knowledge, had let such sorry things to come to pass. But I shall refrain from passing any judgment on Osho. I need to know a lot more about him before doing that. And I think I shall be reading a lot more about Osho. Another conflicting desire which may stop or at least hinder my attempts to reach my goals in life. But hey life is not a race to be won, or goal to be attained, it is about finding what life is. Right?

The day you realized and did nothing

Hello guys,

This is a special post! It’s the start of a new era!! It’s the beginning of a career of a genius!!! (Self proclaimed though!!!! And I bet you haven’t seen that many exclamation marks in one paragraph!!!!!)

Tushar has decided to publish one of his poems on my blog. So I am starting this new section on my blog titled, “Tushar’s Planet in Pritam’s Universe”. Let’s you get to read more of his brilliant (need I say self proclaimed again.) work here.

But seriously it’s a good read, my only grouch is that it doesn’t rhyme.

OK here is the poem:

The day you realized and did nothing

Oh how terrible be that cold cruel moment
when you realize that what you want shall never be yours
what you had, is lost and gone
and what you have become, you shall hate forevermore

beg and plead all you may
your heart shall know peace no more
take and steal all you want
what you hold shall never be yours

years shall pass and seasons turn
you shall grow and your heart shall burn
a cold calm shall cast a veil
over the desires that once prevailed

All you meet shall know you true
doubt and deny all you may
They shall see that you rue
The day you realized and did nothing.


--- Tushar

In Pursuit of Happiness: What I want from Life

Image Credit: Zen
What is art? Well art is many things to many people. That’s the essence of a piece of art. Art is open to interpretation of the person experiencing the art. What a person will experience from a piece of art will depend upon that particular person, his unique personality, the experiences he has had before in his life.

Ho ho, now isn’t that vague and uncertain. I being a programmer don’t really deal well with uncertainties. What I have to do is to find a common most occurring situation and then create a solution for that particular situation and then handle the exceptional occurrences to complete the solution. So for my little purpose of living this life I have accepted the following definition of art,

“Art is something which at the basic level satisfies physical and emotional senses but which also stimulates the intellectual thought.”

Ok if you are scratching your head about why I am propounding on the definition art in a post titled, ‘In Pursuit of Happiness: What I want from Life’ then your doubts aren’t entirely misplaced. And if your mental state is like- "bhais ki aakh" saala kuch bhi likhta – I won’t really blame you. [And no this post isn’t a retort at the people who miserably failed to understand my work of art. ;-) ]

The reason is because I have just read “The Hungry Tide” (Good Book, a review post is in the making. For me a real work of art.) by Amitav Ghosh. In the novel Amitav Ghosh has showed a lot of different characters who have different expectations, hopes and ambitions in life.

There is Piya who is a scientist. She is ready to devote prime 10-15 years of her life to do research on some rare species of dolphins found in the rivers of Sunderbans, even when she doesn’t know what will be the ultimate practical benefit of this research. She is ready to live the harsh solitary life in the jungles of Sundarban where there is good chance that she may become food of some tiger or crocodile.

There is Kanai a successful businessman in the translation services. He knows six languages. His ambition is more success, more luxury and more women.

There is Nirmal and Nilima. The idealist couple trying to help the poor people of Sundarbans. They among other things also run a trust hospital for the people if Sunderbans.

There is Moyna, Fokir’s (described below) wife, who despite of being a fisherman’s wife and her rural background is determined to get more education and become a nurse. She wants a better life for her family.

There is Kusum, Fokir’s mother. She has endured unthinkable grief and hardships, yet she is zestful and determined to live a full life.

And then there is Fokir. What Fokir wants? You don’t know. What he does? He is a fisherman by tread, who spends a lot of time on river in the vicinity of nature singing songs. Why he sacrifices his life for Piya? You don’t know. Is he in love with Piya. You don’t know for sure but it seems so.

Of all the above characters, Fokir puzzles me the most. There is a big unanswered WHY about him. In a novel (and in real life too) you can understand people by their ambition. Understand a person’s ambition and you will have him figured out. You can guess in advance how he will behave in a certain situation if you understand his ambition and his moral framework (though quite a few times the moral framework is conditioned by the ambition).

Fokir is a kind of person who knows how just to be. There is no why about his existence, there is just being and being content about it. The kind of man the traditional Hindu religion instructs us to be. The concept of ‘nirvana’. End of want, the complete bliss, the eternal happiness.

You: Ae, bakwas band kar, direct bol tera point kya hai?

The point is: the WHY of Pritam? If you know me for more than 2 days, you will understand that I am all about ambition. In many ways I am a lot like Kanai. (Except for more women part. Though it may be the natural man situation, I understand the meaning and importance of THE woman and I am searching for her.)

So if I am about ambition, what is the ambition? Happiness for me and my people. Ambitions means want and want negates the possibility of nirvana, the eternal happiness. So what’s the problem? Why am I running behind some ambition when there is eternal happiness to be obtained? Well, it’s not the want or ambition which brings the grief. It’s the failure to achieve the ambition. But you fail only when you give up hope and stop running. If there is hope, the failure is only momentarily; you can always get up and start running.

It’s not really the happiness but the pursuit of happiness that keeps me running. It’s the pursuit of happiness that keeps me alive.